September 28, 2024: They might seem silly at the time, but listen and tune in.

Good Evening Meraki's! I'm coming to you tonight at 10:21 pm. We have had a very low-key eventful day. We went to bed feeling completely tired but still slept a little restlessly. We made the bed with my little brother still in it and proceeded to do a morning stretch. I really wanted to go on a walk today, but my mom is worried I'm not resting, and honestly, it's true. I keep feeling the need to do something, and since all my bad habits were what let me relax, I've realized I don't know how to actually relax without an outside source. Coming to that realization is amazing for me, but the whole day I felt overstimulated and annoyed/irritated, especially to my mother, which isn't fair to her at all. I think it stems from her continuously trying to stop my plans for myself. In itself, I shouldn't allow that to bother me, but coming to the conclusion that I'm genuinely so exhausted and just want a restful sleep, she's right. Even now, your girl just wants to pass out. The day was on and off mood swings, and it kept making me feel as if I'm relapsing to my old self, which was devastating to me. Thoughts that green will make me feel better, or none of my family members are listening to me, or that I feel underappreciated, were playing in my mind all day. When it comes down to it, I needed a coping mechanism for any darker thoughts I was having as I couldn't find a way to relax, especially since I didn't get to my morning shower and skincare routine since I was dyeing my mom's and my hair, and I had to get the materials, so my day was off from the past few that I created. Thankfully I can say as much as we had these little ups and downs, I had a very productive day. After my stretch this morning, I proceeded to read 10 pages of my book (Atomic Habits by James Clear (it actually is amazing, 10/10 recommend)), then made myself apple cider and lemon hot water and journaled. After journaling in the physical book, I made my family breakfast: Protein pancakes, eggs, and turkey bacon; yes, it was indeed delicious. While doing so, I was busting moves from the playlist in my head, I served everyone and ate with my mom, and then went and got our hair. Leaving Walmart, my car was blocked by a cop car; unfortunately, this guy got arrested. I hope he will be okay. I dyed my hair rich amber (a deep red), and my mom's was lightened and dyed Honey Brown; they both look lovely indeed. My mom proceeded to pass out with the dye still in her hair though, and I decided to sit outside on my porch chair and enjoy the beginning of the sunset. It was astoundingly peaceful and one of the first times I was so present with the world outside my own home. This bird was singing the most beautiful song, the sun was peeking through the trees and hitting the top of my car perfectly, there was this silence surrounding me even as cars passed; And even as my brother joined me, I was in such a serene state that I started falling asleep right then and there, enjoying the slightest breeze, the sun shining on me, and the bird singing me a song. The rest of my day and now night was sluggish as I was now relaxed enough to sleep. I ate some dumplings and helped my mom make dinner: Fries, Kenyan sausages, and cabbage. Here we are now, drinking tea and talking to y'all before I sleep. I wanna end this off with; As much as those around you might seem overbearing or that they don't even know what they are talking about when it comes to you, they can see things you might be oblivious to in the current moment. For example, a "friend" who is constantly putting you in dangerous situations and hooking you into bad habits, yes, your parent said they are a bad influence and you think they don't know what they are talking about because you are just having fun. If you step back and look at how this "friend" is serving you, that genuinely the bad habits you developed and the situations you are in could have gone completely left or maybe they did, those warnings are not to be dismissed, the same could be said for your intuition. Anyways, good night Meraki's, I love you soooo much. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and you're in mine! You are a Goddess/God! Muah

Question of the Night

What was one moment you realized that something someone told you was actually true?

Comment down below or DM me!

My answer: The ending to my blog was actually based on true events. Someone I was extremely close to was putting me in dangerous situations, and I didn't realize it because, 1, I genuinely had never gone out or done anything with peers my age, and 2, I just wanted to have fun. I completely ignored what my mom, best friend, and dad had to say. Fortunately, I did realize soon enough, and we are not friends anymore. However, that was technically one of the first steps to how I got here. I still love her as not everything was bad, and she taught me many helpful things, but an era ended is an era ended.