October 1, 2024: Setting Boundaries and standing our ten toes on them.

Hey Meraki's! It's the 1st of the month, I brush my teeth and get up! It's the first of October, and I am so excited simply because it means it's fully Fall! Fall is my favorite season. I live in Texas, so for me it's not too warm nor too cold. As well as the world getting more creative around me, Fall festivities, Halloween decorations, Fright Fest at Six Flags, Fairs all over, etc. So you can say I'm on the happier side today. Ya girl finally slept well and is getting in tune with my new sleep schedule. One thing I can say is incense really helps, I put 5 incense: Dragon's Blood, Frankincense, 2 Sandalwood, and Myrrh (maybe don't put so many at one time…), and that blend knocked me out immediately, I kid you not I smelled it with my eyes closed, and felt my consciousness exiting, floating away… bye! bye! type beat. Anyways today is very interesting, I started the day with a good workout and reading. At my job we had a Hispanic potluck, and that food put me to sleep, but I can't sleep here; sigh. Fatigue has clouded my mind and paying attention to what I was learning was a struggle. I realized today I've been a little stricter with some things I would normally give in to. With that being said, I set a boundary for myself today, and it felt really wrong and weird because it's something I haven't had practice in, especially with my mother. I had done it over text because I'm at work and it has left me anxious because I'm worrying about how I affected my mother. Now, I'm not going to go back on my boundary because it is a boundary, what will happen is me stating and communicating my boundaries in person or over Facetime (only if it's a long-distance thing). Which leads us to today's discussion, Setting Boundaries and standing our ten toes on them. I have never been one to set boundaries, I didn't even know what boundaries were until September 2023, because of the way I was raised. Setting boundaries can be hard when you don't know where to start from. One of the ways I figured mine out as well as one of the best ways of setting boundaries (I would say) is to know yourself. When it comes down to it if you love yourself, you discover your likes and dislikes, you internalize that you deserve respect, you know your worth, and you don't let others impact you; you realize what certain words, responses, or actions can lead to your anger/irritated response, or your defense mechanisms, or even lead to negative thoughts trying to cloud your mind and learn to acknowledge and heal from them, so they won't continue to affect you. When you come to the Self-realization of who you are, what you are worth, and who deserves your love, attention, and time; You will not allow anyone to step on that, anyone to change that, and anyone to cross that line you internalized and that's setting boundaries. I can't tell you what your boundaries are, or what they even could mean for you, but I can give you examples of some boundaries. One example: you are in your room, studying for a test/working from home/taking an online exam/trying to relax, and your parent/sibling/roommate/partner comes in and asks you to go to the store for them. You ask why they can't go and they say they are “busy” and “need” you to do it… excuse me?!? Setting a boundary is politely telling them, “Hey, I'm in the middle of something important right now, I can't help you at the moment”. They say “Oh, but I really need this from the store and I can't go, please go for me”. Standing on your ten toes on said boundary would be “I cannot help you at the moment and it is not up for discussion. I explained to you I'm doing something important and you pushing this boundary I have set is disregarding my plans and my feelings”. That is all. You don't owe them anything else. A more simple example is a person touching on you or making you feel uncomfortable. Setting a boundary is politely removing their body from you and saying “please don't touch me, you're making me uncomfortable”. They continue or say “oh, I just find you attractive and want to get to know you”. You stand on your ten toes “Excuse me, I said you are making me uncomfortable, leave me alone, and go about your day”. If they sadly don't understand, get up and go. There are many boundaries even as simple as not wanting someone to put their mouth on what you use, not wanting to listen to your friends' problems, because you don't want to be drained, saying no when you don't want to do something, etc. When it comes to boundaries, you will know when someone is crossing them or that you want to set one for specific things, simply because you can feel it in your mind, heart, and soul. That you don't like what that person is doing, or saying, or even being presented to you. When you key in to your intuition, you realize just how easy setting boundaries are. To end this off, It's okay to not know all your boundaries, and it's okay to even not have them set in place to those around you, as long as you set them and stick to them the second you feel them. There is no reason to feel guilty, anxious, wrong, or even ashamed to set your boundaries. Your mother, your father, your best friend, your friends, your siblings, a stranger, no one should change or affect your boundaries because they are what you deserve, the respect you should be given, and your worth. Anyone who crosses these boundaries, especially after warning them, shall not be in your life anymore. Repeat with me: Anyone who crosses these boundaries, especially after warning them, shall not be in your life anymore. When it comes to blood, if they never learn you shouldn't put up with it, they will come back in your life when they realize you mean it and that they should respect it, nothing less. I love you so much! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you are in mine. Grand Rising! Sweet Dreams! Or Good Afternoon! Muah

Words to know

Boundaries- (v.) A rule/s you set in place to respect yourself and allow others to respect you. Only you should change your boundary, if YOU want to. No one should cross and you should especially not allow anyone to cross them.